What does it mean to love the body?
It's Valentine's Day here and I've been thinking a lot about love. About what it means. About what is offered in love, expected in love, taken in love.
As usual, I've also been thinking about the body.
What does it mean to love the body? What does love for the body look like? Feel like? How can you know if you are being loving to your body?
Yesterday, I hosted a webcast called Sweet Spots, all about how to use your pain to fast track your way to whole body health. We explored how our pain and dysfunction can be an invitation to heal more deeply, more fully, and that if we're willing to listen, the physical experiences we are longing for become more available. I was struck during the presentation by the powerful presence people were willing to bring to their bodies, the curiosity, the openness. I was struck by their love.
Often, when I hear the phrase "love your body," I conjure up ideas of accepting less than perfection, appreciating the way you look, that sort of thing.
But what if love was an action, a doing of something?
What if love was a movement, an embodiment of need?
What if love was a listening and a presence that held no judgment?
What if love was also a setting of limits on what doesn't work?
What if love was all about being intentional?
It's really easy to say that we love ourselves because we hold a thought of love or a feeling of love.
But what does it mean when our actions toward our bodies aren't loving?
What does it mean when we punish ourselves?
Shame ourselves?
Ignore our dysfunction?
Avoid our pain?
Put off meeting our needs?
Wait for someone else to do it?
Wait until it's too late?
Say no when we mean yes?
Say yes when we mean no?
Sit too long, push too hard, exercise too infrequently?
Try to do it all on our own?
Wear clothes and shoes that squish and squeeze?
Forget to take breaks?
What does it mean when we don't really show up?
If there's anything that parenting has taught me (and it's taught me more than I ever wanted to know!), it's that love is about presence.
And that if I am unable to be present, that's on me, not my child.
And that action arises out of presence.
Presence with another offers us the insight and wisdom we need in order to best love the other.
This is no different with the body.
When we really show up to ourselves, when we offer ourselves presence, we find we are able to lovingly take action and we can discern more clearly what actions need to be taken.
Happy Valentine's Day, my dear ones. May you find yourself held in love.
